Lessons I’ve learned from this Covid 19 Pandemic
After so many months, I will be writing a personal blog again because I would really love to share my thoughts and realizations about this pandemic.
To be honest, during the first month I was still ok and I think most of us were. I am positive that this will end soon. The twins? Still okay. As long as Peppa Pig is playing on our tv, and they have toys to play, they are fine. Hahahaha
On the second month, my hope on this pandemic ending is starting to fade away. I am experiencing Panic Attacks. I am having difficulty of breathing and my heart beats faster than usual. I started feeling anxious. I cannot sleep at night. And I have been sleeping around 4-6am almost every single day. It was so hard. I’m missing my husband so much. He was about to go home but flights are cancelled. I’m scared for all my loved ones. Scared that this virus will slowly kills us all.
This was also the time that I stopped watching news, reading tweets and even facebook posts. I need to cut off negative thoughts. And the twins? Well their sleeping habits started to change also. They are not sleeping anymore for their afternoon nap. They sleep late like around 12AM and will wake up around 10-11AM.
On the 3rd Month, I am finally adapting to the new normal. Yes, it took me 3 months to realize where we are right now. I need to accept that we will be staying at home for the longest time. Up to when? I also don’t know. And that my husband won’t be able to go home yet. But still thankful that he’s safe, healthy and he still has a job. He’s working in an insurance company so his job is really essential nowadays. Faith and Hope miss their dad so much. Every morning when they wake up, they will look for their dad. We try to do video call as often as possible and good thing that he is working from home.
Another challenge with this Quarantine period is buying supplies and groceries. We tried to buy all our supplies online but there are just things that you can only buy from the market. My stepdad is the one who goes outside to buy those supplies that are not available online. Once he arrives, me and the kids needs to go upstairs because my mom and our helper still need to sanitize what my stepdad bought. Then after that, they will also need to clean the living room and the kitchen. And then after they are finished, then they will also need to take a shower. And once all of these are done, then that’s the only time that me and the twins can go to the living room or the kitchen.
Another thing that I did to stop thinking of this pandemic is to make myself busy by recreating my sister’s room into my twins’ playroom. Beside this, I also kept myself busy by posting and reviewing different products from different brands. At first it was good, but I realized that I was so focused on these things that I spent less time with my kids. More projects came which is totally a blessing but I was not able to manage my time that I was preoccupied with the posting deadlines. I even had a misunderstanding with our helper because even her is also experiencing anxiety because she’s also thinking of her family in the province. This pandemic really tested your relationship with your family and other people.
So just few weeks after I decided to keep myself busy, I told my husband that I want to stop being a social media influencer. It’s crazy, right? One moment you’re happy with what you’re doing and then one moment you are not. You just have too much in your mind that you forgot what really matters.
My husband knows how I really love what I’m doing. Vlogging and sharing my insights about motherhood makes me happy and it also allows me to meet moms who have the same struggles, and I’m happy to say that some of them became my friends too.
Life maybe difficult and a lot of struggles. But at the end of the day let’s go back to the reason why we started to do what we are doing. I realized that I can’t stop just because I want to stop and I’m not feeling good about myself. I’m doing this because I’m a mom of my wonderful kids and I love to share my experiences to other moms. I’m doing this because I have a strong support system. That no matter how many times I fall, people who really knew me well will stay and will always push me to do my best. I’ve learned to keep going. People come and go, but life is simply about seeing who cares enough to stay.
Thanks to my Husband, for always supporting me since day 1 of my motherhood journey. To my twins, Faith and Hope, you are truly my Faith and My Hope in this lifetime. And I’ll always be thankful that God made me as your mother.
You can always pause, rethink and rest for a while, but never quit!
#Motherhood #realizations #family #pandemic